I have them, I hate them, I love them.

They’re thoughts. They are intrusive to what I am. They make me, me but not me. It’s hard to explain. But it’s how I can explain.

Most times I don’t care, because I have distractions. But one that moments where it’s all quiet. It’s over with. No one can help. Because I don’t say anything. I’m still, alone, I don’t ask for help. Because I don’t like to bother people.

Now, those thoughts get worse especially because I try to drink them away but they don’t gon away. They come out stronger. It socks but it’s a cycle that doesn’t stop. I want it to stop but it doesn’t. It sucks. Oh well though. It is what it is.

Here I am, chillin. Alone. No one to talk to. No one to ease the pain that they bring. But I’m not bothering anyone. At least that’s what I think I’ll do if I try to talk. So o don’t.
I’d rather be here in the pain of my own thoughts. Rather than bother anyone tbh.

I am who I am.

SHV